Sunday, July 6, 2014

0
Like woah

So, a lot has happened during these weeks I haven't updated (awkward, I thought I had updated in June.. but nope). I have graduated from high school and oddly, or not oddly, I miss school. I miss studying, being in class, but I miss my friends mostly..
Right now I also miss home. I'm in Stockholm, Sweden's capital. It has been fun, but I feel pretty exhausted and all I want to do is to lay in my own bed, pet my cats and spend time with my family and friends.
I'm pretty unsure of what I'll be doing now during the summer, and after. A guy called me and said that they had an apartment for me. But since I'm unsure if I'll study or not I had to decline his offer. Luckily if I decide to study, I can always stay with my brother for a while.


Monday, May 19, 2014

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I'm gonna miss school!

http://weheartit.com/entry/32926416/search?context_type=search&context_user=believeinsmile&page=3&query=school+anime&sort=most_popular Today I first had my driving lesson, it actually went great. Then later on I had this session with a counselor, and it also went great. I'm feeling quite good right now. Even though I have loads of homework and assignments that I have to do.. Like these are my last assigments.. I will miss school, a lot. I haven't really enjoyed these last couple of years of high school, mostly not my class really. Nothing wrong with the students really, but I still feel like a misfit.
Luckily I have my friends! They've been so important for me and made me actually go to school with a smile on my face. I don't know what I'd do without them. That saddens me, like, these last couple of days will be the last time it will be all together. I don't want that good bye.

http://weheartit.com/entry/116511741/search?context_type=search&context_user=sakkugawa&page=2&query=school+anime
Somebody that has graduated and still miss high school?


Tuesday, May 6, 2014

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A new beginning?

I have a lot of visitors everyday.. I kind of feel ashamed that I haven't blogged in a long time, but to be honest, I haven't been feeling good. But I want to share some news to you, and also just get some things off my chest. I'll be seeing a psychologist, and I feel hopeful, but also scared. I kind feel like finally, and just the thought of talking to someone about things, makes me instantly a little happier. Hope is very important, and when you go without it for a period of time, you start to feel numb. I feel like I'm at that point, where I feel numb. Things doesn't really matter to me any more, and it's scary.
It's also scary that I've agreed to actually change. I feel scared to talk to someone, because I'm a mess. I've bottled up so much inside of me so I feel like I'll burst soon. So just the thought of sharing my most inner thoughts to someone is dreadful. Because I haven't really opened up to anyone. I know this all is going to be hard, but I hope it's worth it.

I actually look forward for the future..


Wednesday, March 26, 2014

0
In about a week..

fast food kids meal pixel
What are ya'll cons regarding traveling?
In about a week I will be heading to Belgium with my class. I'm actually pretty excited, we will be staying in Brussels, the capital of Belgium. But I do wonder how the whole experience will be, my class is a bit bipolar at times, but I guess I'll just have to wait and see. It will probably be fun.
There's one thing I'm worrying about; food. Since I don't eat meat I'll probably have to special order things and such. I don't know, but it's a bit annoying. Already here in Sweden there are so many food options that passes just because they contain meat. 
It feels like there's a lot of things going on. Right now I'm looking at universities and such, I'll apply tonight I think, my primary pick will be musicology in Uppsala University.

http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lm10u0KIBc1qaqs3eo1_500.jpg
Brussels at night!
Beautiful buildings~


Thursday, March 20, 2014

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Sorrow

Much have happened since I last updated this blog..
Firstly, the biggest school project for us seniors is done. The project was about writing a report about a subject we got to choose ourself) and if we don't pass, we won't be able to graduate. So it's a big deal, so I have been busy and stressed over that project for a while, but it's all done now.
The second thing is.., my cat passed away this Monday. It feels crazy. I had that cat, Murre, for 15 years. 15 years of a friendship. We got Murre when I was 3-4 years old, I don't even remember a time without him. Now when he's gone it feels like a big piece is missing. These last couple of days have been the worst of my life. I've never experience death or losing someone.
And please don't think that he was "just a cat", he was so more than "just a cat". I don't even like when people talk about animals like that. Murre was one of my best friends. He has been by my side through all the bad and all the good times. And he has helped me a lot, even though I can't pinpoint on what he has helped me with, all I know is that I always felt loved by him. I felt pretty lonely as a kid and with him by my side, life felt easier.
We really had a special friendship. When I was going to pre-school he always used to walk me to the cab. Later on he used to watch me in the hallway before  I went off to school, like these last years of school. He used to follow me around, especially if I was outside. He sometimes followed me to my friends house. And almost every time I used to sleepover at a friends house he started to act strange, like sleeping on my mom's lap, which was something he never did. Murre was spoilt and also the biggest diva ever, he had a big personality. Very stubborn, not that friendly always lol, disliked other cats and he loved food. But he was also very sweet. So if he liked you, you better feel special.
Lately I've had some weird mood swings. I feel happy for one second, and the next I feel completely miserable. I don't feel like doing anything, I'm just laying in my bed. I've never cried this much in my life. The nights are the worst. Seeing my bed empty hurts, knowing he is not under the bed, or on the couch downstairs hurts. I'm still looking for him yet I know he is nowhere to be found. This all hurts so much. I've experienced feeling I've never experienced. Like missing someone so much it hurts.
Me and my family didn't loose a cat, we lost a family member and one of our greatest friends. My dad, that doesn't even like cats has been down. He rarely expresses he's emotions either, so it feels weird to see him sad.
It was my decision to put him down, and I feel terrible.. He became sick during last week, and it became so bad that he couldn't even eat or drink. He lost so much weight, started to smell bad and got snotty. I felt like then, that he was too old to be saved. 15 years is pretty much for a cat. The vet said saving him would be impossible.
I am now writing these last sentences with tears rolling down my cheeks, I just want him to know that; I miss you so much, and I love you so much. I'd do anything to meet you again. For me, you will never be gone. You might not be here, but you will always live on in my heart and mind. I love you so much. And we all miss you so much.




Saturday, February 8, 2014

2
Cosplaying!

http://www.pixeljoint.com/files/icons/full/minishlink1anim.gifI was thinking of cosplaying last year, but it didn't really didn't went through. But now I'm thinking of cosplaying Talim from Soul Calibur. She was and still is one of my favourite characters from the game series, and she does look slightly like me.There's only one thing I have to do if I'm going to cosplay as her, become fit. And I'm unsure if I'm going to buy or sew the costume. I looked on ebay it was pretty expensive, so I think I have to sew it. I was also wondering if anyone was going to recognize me, but then again it's a convention, there will probably be someone.. It's a nerd-get-together. And yeah. Have you ever cosplayed? :D

I'd probably need circle lenses..


Sunday, February 2, 2014

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So what have I been up to?

Two thousand and fourteen still feels kinda fresh. So what have I been up to? My brother just left, so now it feels like I have some time for myself. I've been spending time with my siblings as much as possible when they're were home. I've been playing a lot of video games with them, such as Minecraft, LoL, Hearthstone and not to forget; The Sims 3 (which is my latest addiction). 
I've made a family containing 2 sisters, one is party animal whereas the other one is very down to earth. Can you guess who is who? I really love the sims, I've been playing it since 2000, and I was 5 then! I'm a pro sims-gamer.