0 A long troublesome road

~I hope~

I've had a very hard time managing time and work and spare time. Lately, I've been spending a lot of time on school work, it only doesn't affect my spare time, it affects my emotions a lot. It really does, it feels like I constantly have something to do, but at the same time not. It feels like I cannot relax, I've always something to do. I'm starting to feel like a wandering robot, again. The old problems that I had a year ago is starting to occur again, even though now I've so much time left since the change of school. The time I've been putting down on school work have shown a positive effect, I got back my big assignment that I blogged about, probably 2 weeks ago, and I got a B, which is pretty good, since it was such a big assignment. I almost coudln't believe it.

But when it feels to my feelings, I've felt so lonely lately. Maybe I'm growing up, realising new things. Even though I get good results in school, I don't feel like I'm achieving anything that  I really want to achieve, like; music. It makes me so anxious. It's about a year till I'll graduate high school, and how am I going to go to a music college in the US when I merely know about theoretical things when it comes to music. I feel like a failure at times. These thoughts are going around in my head all the time. I'm trying to improve but I feel like I'm failing all the time. There are lots of things going around in my head, this is just a quarter, but I'm not going to write about it here. But I hope you understand the lack of updates. I miss blogging, but it feels like I don't have the time, even though I have. I will try start blogging regulary, and start to prioritaty time better.