Much have happened since I last updated this blog..
Firstly, the biggest school project for us seniors is done. The project was about writing a report about a subject we got to choose ourself) and if we don't pass, we won't be able to graduate. So it's a big deal, so I have been busy and stressed over that project for a while, but it's all done now.
The second thing is.., my cat passed away this Monday. It feels crazy. I had that cat, Murre, for 15 years. 15 years of a friendship. We got Murre when I was 3-4 years old, I don't even remember a time without him. Now when he's gone it feels like a big piece is missing. These last couple of days have been the worst of my life. I've never experience death or losing someone.
And please don't think that he was "just a cat", he was so more than "just a cat". I don't even like when people talk about animals like that. Murre was one of my best friends. He has been by my side through all the bad and all the good times. And he has helped me a lot, even though I can't pinpoint on what he has helped me with, all I know is that I always felt loved by him. I felt pretty lonely as a kid and with him by my side, life felt easier.
We really had a special friendship. When I was going to pre-school he always used to walk me to the cab. Later on he used to watch me in the hallway before I went off to school, like these last years of school. He used to follow me around, especially if I was outside. He sometimes followed me to my friends house. And almost every time I used to sleepover at a friends house he started to act strange, like sleeping on my mom's lap, which was something he never did. Murre was spoilt and also the biggest diva ever, he had a big personality. Very stubborn, not that friendly always lol, disliked other cats and he loved food. But he was also very sweet. So if he liked you, you better feel special.
Lately I've had some weird mood swings. I feel happy for one second, and the next I feel completely miserable. I don't feel like doing anything, I'm just laying in my bed. I've never cried this much in my life. The nights are the worst. Seeing my bed empty hurts, knowing he is not under the bed, or on the couch downstairs hurts. I'm still looking for him yet I know he is nowhere to be found. This all hurts so much. I've experienced feeling I've never experienced. Like missing someone so much it hurts.
Me and my family didn't loose a cat, we lost a family member and one of our greatest friends. My dad, that doesn't even like cats has been down. He rarely expresses he's emotions either, so it feels weird to see him sad.
It was my decision to put him down, and I feel terrible.. He became sick during last week, and it became so bad that he couldn't even eat or drink. He lost so much weight, started to smell bad and got snotty. I felt like then, that he was too old to be saved. 15 years is pretty much for a cat. The vet said saving him would be impossible.
I am now writing these last sentences with tears rolling down my cheeks, I just want him to know that; I miss you so much, and I love you so much. I'd do anything to meet you again. For me, you will never be gone. You might not be here, but you will always live on in my heart and mind. I love you so much. And we all miss you so much.
♥
 |
| ♥♥♥♥♥ |
